


you drive me fucking crazy

by weddingbells



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Coming Out, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Sex, again the larry is just in the past, but tagged it like that because people should be aware, past larry, stunts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:10:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5688790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weddingbells/pseuds/weddingbells
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“So, do you want something to drink?” Nick asks, and Louis sighs and sits down at the table. He tucks his hands into the long sleeves of his jumper.<br/>“You don’t have to pretend like this isn’t awkward,” he says quietly, not meeting Nick’s eyes.  “I know it’s awkward.”</i>
</p><p>louis is going to come out. and he apparently can’t do that without having a fake boyfriend. nick is happy to help out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you drive me fucking crazy

**Author's Note:**

> i really don’t think i can get tired of writing pretend relationship stories so here is one more. there’s not that much banter in this one though and they always like each other. i hope you enjoy!

Louis knows it won’t be easy, or that it won’t happen overnight, but when he sits down in the office, it really feels real.

He is going to come out. Finally.

There’s been a lot of thinking back and forth, and he has even wondered if he really needs to properly come out. But he has decided on it now, and his team is okay with it.

He is going to come out.

And now he just needs to know how. And when. And what plans his team has for him because he knows there will be many.

“Good morning, Mr. Tomlinson!”

The man in front of him is another one of those that Louis doesn’t remember the name of. He is bad with names. Liam is much better. He gives him a smile anyway.

“Hi. I’m not late, right?”

“Oh no, not at all,” the man says, and he puts a bunch of papers on the desk and gives Louis a smile that could be interpreted at both kind and threatening. Louis will go with kind. Kind is better. “Shall we get started?”

Louis takes a deep breath.

“Might as well,” he says, and then quickly adds. “How do you want to do this?”

”We don’t want them to think that you are dating Harry,” the man says, right to the point, and Louis’ hand grip hard on the chair as his knuckles whiten. _Starting already._

“I’m not dating Harry,” he says through gritted teeth.

“We know that,” he man continues, going through his papers as if he doesn’t care at all about the fact that there is a person in front of him that he is actually discussing. Louis shouldn’t be surprised, but he still is. He just thought that maybe it would take a bit longer than three seconds for the man to forget this. “But you _were_. And we don’t want people thinking that you were. I don’t think you want it either.”

Louis looks away. He hates how he feels tears burning from behind his eyelids. Louis doesn’t cry, rarely cry at all and he never cries in front of people he is doing business with, but bringing up Harry and the _Louis &Harry_ always seems to do that for him.

It’s been over a year since it ended, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about it still.

And it really doesn’t mean that he won’t be affected when it’s talked about.

“Well, I don’t see why people would,” Louis says, forcing himself to look back at the man in front of him and not show weakness. “He moved to Los Angeles. I’m still here. People got bored with thinking about it. So I think I should just come out. It won’t make a difference. I’ll just say I’m single.”

The man shakes his head. Once again he watches Louis, his eyes a mix between as if he thinks Louis is being an impossible, dumb little child or just a name on a piece of paper that he needs to deal with for the moment. Probably the latter.

“That doesn’t work in this industry, you know that. We don’t want your unfortunate homosexuality take away the focus from the music you and the lads will create.”

Louis’ hand grips the chair even harder again. He feels furious.

“I’m sorry that my _unfortunate homosexuality_ ruins so much for you then,” he says, hoping his voice doesn’t sound too poisonous even if he really just wants to punch the guy.

The guy doesn’t seem to notice that Louis is pissed though, because he is already moving on to the next piece of paper in front of him.

“No, what you really need is someone to come out with, you know? We need a person that you can say that you’ve dated a while. I mean, it would be even better if you could say that he might have been the reason you realised that you weren’t straight. People always love that don’t they? Such dramatic, touching stories is what sells today.”

“I don’t want to _sell_ my sexuality,” Louis says, rolling his eyes. The man lets out a laugh.

“Of course not. But you know, we need to think of it from a business point of view. So, we’re gonna put you with an already out lad, you know him, so don’t worry.”

Louis looks up. He is very much not looking forward to hearing this, and he also wonders how they can plan all this behind his back so quickly.

“Who?” he asks, and the man looks so pleased with himself when he replies.

“Nick Grimshaw, you know. Radio DJ? Gonna be great for you. We can add in a lot of history there.”

“You want me to date Grimmy?!” Louis asks, and he can’t believe what he is hearing. “No, no. I can’t do that. Grimmy is Harry’s friend, Grimmy… he’s dating that Michael bloke for god’s sake.”

The man shakes his head.

“No, they broke up a while back. He doesn’t mind this at all. We really only need to set you guys up for a few moments of getting spotted, and it will be all fine. Article about you coming out, brief mentioning of Nick… it will be good, really good.”

“He doesn’t…” Louis feels like he needs to sit down, but then he remembers that he already _is_ sitting down and it’s not helping him the slightest. “How can he not mind this? We’re not…” he pauses, trying to figure out how to continue his sentence. “I mean we’re not _that_ close.”

“You don’t dislike each other, right?” the man arches one eyebrow and Louis quickly shakes his head.

“No, no we… I mean we don’t dislike each other but… pretending to date is…”

“I have all the faith in you,” the man says, the tone of his voice not really convincing Louis. “You used to be an actor, right? Or wanted to be. You’ve done stunts before.”

“Well yes, but…”

“See!” the man looks cheerful now as he taps the papers in front of him. “This will be easy for you, Louis! We have set up a meeting for the both of you to go over things, and of course I will email all the details to you. It will be nothing but fine.”

Louis opens his mouth to protest, but closes it again because he really doesn’t know what to say. His head is spinning.

“Anything else?” the man asks, and Louis can’t do anything but just shake his head once more.

“Then I will see you, both of you, next week for an interview with a couple of magazines,” the smile the man is giving Louis’ now is way too big. “See you then!”

Louis feels so very dismissed when he is getting up from his chair.

Nick Grimshaw.

_Christ._

 

\--

 

Louis wonders why he is doing this when he knocks on the door to Nick’s house. He hears Pig, and then it takes forever until Nick finally opens the door. Louis almost worries that he changed his mind. They had talked, an awkward phone call to decide where they should meet to go over this and Nick had suggested for Louis to come over. It seemed better than anywhere else.

Louis hasn’t been to Nick’s place since him and Harry was invited there for dinner when they were still together. He tries not to think about it.

“Louis!” Nick’s smile is bright as the door finally opens. He looks like he just came home from work, just about to change to his comfy clothes because he wears a fancier shirt to sweatpants. The look is kind of adorable.

“Nick,” Louis nods, stepping inside. “I… hi.”

“I’m sorry, I was just going to change and Pig distracted me,” Nick explains and he starts leading Louis towards the kitchen, or really he is just walking there, Louis isn’t really sure, he just follows.

“It’s okay,” Louis says, biting his lip. “I mean, not picky about clothes.”

Nick’s kitchen is fancy and lovely. Louis wonders how much cooking he does. Probably more than Louis does. But then again that’s not difficult to beat.

“So, do you want something to drink?” Nick asks, and Louis sighs and sits down at the table. He tucks his hands into the long sleeves of his jumper.

“You don’t have to pretend like this isn’t awkward,” he says quietly, not meeting Nick’s eyes. “I know it’s awkward. For you and for me. I know Harry must have told you…”

“Harold hasn’t told me much of anything, don’t worry, he is a very private lad that one isn’t he?” Nick says brightly, but Louis knows he is lying. Them dating and breaking up was something Harry must have discussed with someone, and Louis knows how close he was with Nick and Rita. Honestly, Louis hopes he did. That would mean that Harry had been upset about it just like Louis was.

For the moment though, Louis chooses to believe the lie because he doesn’t really have the energy to argue with him. He also doesn’t want to turn this already awkward meeting into an even _more_ awkward meeting where they talk about his failed relationship, so Louis sighs, leaning back in his chair.

“Can I have tea?” he asks, and Nick smiles.

“Of course you can. No sugar right?”

Louis looks up.

“How…” he wants to ask how Nick knows this, or remembers, but decides to just not ask that either. Limit their conversation to not be too much about them. What a joke. “Yes, thanks. No sugar.”

“Coming right up.”

 

\--

 

They take their tea to the living room, something Louis approves of because Pig is in the living room, and Pig has got to be one of the cutest dogs Louis has ever met. _Ever_. He smiles fondly as he watches her chew on a bunch of toys, and then looks up to see Nick watching him with a smile dancing on his lips.

“So you’re coming out, huh? That’s lovely for you Louis.”

Louis shrugs, sipping his tea.

“’Bout time I guess. Should have come out sooner. Could have come out when I actually _was_ in a relationship.”

There it is again, and Louis hates that he is talking about it, thinking about it, but he can’t help it. This was probably supposed to be like that. He was supposed to come out with Harry, but instead they ended things and now here he is. It’s impossible to not think about it. Especially here in Nick’s house, where every memory he has is something Harry was a part of.

“Hey,” Nick says, moving over to carefully pat Louis’ shoulder. “It’s okay. You weren’t ready, none of you were. But now here you are, you’re ready and you’re doing it for you, right? Just for you.”

Nick’s smile is bright and encouraging as he watches Louis.

“And you know, maybe that’s even better,” Nick continues. “Because now you know you _really_ want to do this. You want to come out for you, not because you feel like you need to come out for someone else. It’s all for you, that’s good isn’t it?”

“Yeah, just, you know,” Louis shrugs, not even sure why he is talking. “I mean, maybe it could be better if I didn’t have to pretend that we’re… actually dating.”

Nick laughs, loudly enough to make Pig look up from her toy.

“It’s bad, huh? To pretend to be dating me.”

“It’s not that!” Louis protests because honestly, he didn’t mean to offend Nick. _This time_. “I mean, I just don’t know if people will buy it, that’s all.”

“Us?”

“Yeah,” Louis shrugs. “Never been very good at pretending in the past so maybe this will be even more difficult. People think you hate me. And that I hate you. So there’s that.”

Nick laughs at that again, shaking his head.

“Yeah, some people. And some people think we’re actually in love, you know? You should visit your own fandom sometimes, Lou.”

Louis grimaces.

“No, it makes me feel all weird. Do you?”

Nick nods.

“Check my tag now and then in the social media. Feels good to stay on top of things. And sometimes I see pictures people make of you and me and I’m like, hold on, when did this happen? And I realise it didn’t, people just made it up and it’s a manip but you know… they exist. So people did put us together already,” Nick grins, putting his cup of tea down on the table and leans back on the couch. “So just go with it. People might be surprised and don’t believe it, but there are always people like that right? The important thing here is _you_ , and that you get to come out.”

“Not just me though,” Louis mutters, and his cheeks are slightly flushed at the idea of people thinking about him and Nick as a couple. He wasn’t aware that people did that. “This affects you as well. I mean… you’re gonna be my boyfriend. I’ll be yours.”

“I’ll try to live with the fact that people will know a semi attractive pop star wants to date me,” Nick says, clutching his heart dramatically. Louis throws a pillow at him.

“Excuse me, what do you mean _semi_ attractive?”

“You have seen better days,” Nick keeps teasing, and Louis knows he shouldn’t swallow the bait but Nick set him up for too good to just let it go.

“So have you,” Louis retorts. “Like the days before Jesus Christ.”

Nick lets out an offended huff and throws the pillow back at Louis.

“That was low. Shut up.”

“Nope,” Louis grins, and he feels that maybe this won’t be so bad after all. Nick is fun, they know of each other’s friends and of each other. Nick sticks his tongue out. Louis flips him off.

“You can’t flip me off!” Nick pretends. “That’s not a very boyfriend-y thing to do is it Loueh.”

Louis laughs as Nick crosses his arms over his chest, frowning.

“You have a lot to learn about being my boyfriend,” Louis hums and pokes Nick’s side because why not. “This is why we better get started.”

Nick grunts.

“I have a feeling you’re gonna drive me crazy.”

Louis smiles, feeling pleased as he hears that.

“You are correct my dear. That’s what I do, better get used to it.”

Nick grins, shaking his head. He doesn’t say anything back.

 

\--

 

The article that states that it looks like Louis is seen holding hands out with Nick Grimshaw drops two days before the article of his actual coming out story, which his management sold to the highest bidder ages ago. It’s weird, seeing it and knowing that people are now really starting to realise that Louis isn’t straight.

Louis and Nick decides to have dinner at Nick’s house, Nick promising he will cook, as they plan out the next of their dates. Louis doesn’t mind getting fed, as long as he doesn’t have to cook anything.

He doesn’t have to though, he can tell Harry must have told Nick just how absolutely awful Louis is at cooking because Nick orders him away from the food, and instead Louis reads the article with comments over and over again.

“Did it start like this for you too?” Louis asks, and Nick looks up.

“The coming out? I mean, a little? It was a bit different back then. And you get a bit more attention than I get. Just a bit,” he winks, and Louis chuckles.

There are no actual pictures yet, just blurry pictures that could be anything but Louis knows that this time next week, there will be no denying. Maybe that he is in a relationship with Nick, if he doesn’t want to comment on that, but not of the fact that he obviously is not straight.

“Do you think he will be jealous?” Louis asks, and Nick looks up from chopping up the carrots in tiny little pieces, so tiny that Louis wonders why they even bother using carrots in this dish if they aren’t actually going to see them.

“Who?” he asks, before adding. “Harry? Jealous of what?”

“Well…” Louis says, sitting down and hoping he doesn’t blush. “You know, of us. I mean. Do you think he will be jealous when he sees us out together? That maybe… he’ll…”

Nick lets out a little chuckle.

“So that he will want you back?”

Louis shakes his head quickly.

“No, no, not that just… maybe that he will be a little jealous of the… whole thing. That’s all,” Louis thinks about it for a moment before adding. “Maybe Michael will be jealous too. Maybe we’ll make them both jealous. That would be good wouldn’t it?”

Nick puts the knife away, drying his hand on a towel nearby the sink and smiles.

“I don’t think Michael will be jealous, love. We ended on good terms. We weren’t right for each other. Not sure about Harry. But does it matter?”

“A little,” Louis mutters under his breath. “It matters a little.”

He isn’t sure _why_ it matters exactly, and he hopes Nick won’t ask that but thankfully Nick doesn’t and Louis is left without having to explain.

“Are you ready to be swooned by my cooking skills?” Nick asks instead, and Louis lets out a laugh.

“Trying to swoon me with carrots? Try again.”

“Hey, I’m a real fan, I know you like carrots,” Nick points to him with one of the spoons he is using. “Don’t try anything with me Tomlinson.”

Louis shakes his head and tries to not smile fondly at that. Nick is _such_ an idiot, really.

It’s nice.

“Did you tell anyone?” Louis asks, because they haven’t talked about this yet. “I mean that this is… not real, you know.”

Nick shrugs, wiping his hands.

“Told me mum and dad. And Collette, because there is no hiding this from her, you know. But other than that… no one.”

“Same,” Louis echoes, before he realises how stupid that must sound. “Uhm, I mean… I told _my_ mum and… well… yeah. I told my mum.”

Nick’s eyes meet his, and there is a shade of something in Nick’s eyes. Louis wonders if he is judging. Maybe he is. He looks away.

“Don’t judge me,” he mumbles, and Nick is quickly by his side.

“No, hey, not judging, why would you think I’m judging you?” Nick asks softly, and his arm wrap around Louis’ waist and usually, Louis doesn’t easily fall into an embrace like this. He does now though, because nerves and keeping this whole thing going is really already draining him of energy.

“I’m uh… I mean, I have no one to tell,” he says awkwardly, and Nick shakes his head.

“No you’re just… you know. You’re much harder to read than I am.”

Louis laughs.

“No, told you. Suck at pretending when it comes to things like these.”

“You sucked at pretending with _girls_ ,” Nick corrects him, a little laugh following it. “About something that maybe wasn’t what you really wanted. But you only telling your mum knows just proves that you know you can fool everyone else, which is good. Harder for me.”

Louis wonders if that’s really the truth, but again, that feels like a better explanation than just the fact that he hasn’t got many people left in his life right now.

“Are we gonna eat soon?” he asks instead, because food is always a better subject. “I’m starving.”

“Calm down, babe,” Nick laughs. “You are too demanding already, careful, I might break up with you.”

“No you won’t,” Louis hums.

Nick sighs.

“No, I guess not. Okay, let’s eat.”

 

\--

 

Louis’ management tell them to go on a ski trip as their first true couple outing which Louis finds ridiculous considering that is where _everyone_ goes, but clearly that was also the point.

(Nick can’t ski at all and that’s okay because Louis really can’t either.)

“Do you just want to have a pint or something?” Louis asks, when they try for the fourth time to actually make it down the slopes in one go, fails, and Nick just laughs. He pushes his ski goggles out of the way and looks at Louis. His face is slightly red, like it gets from cold and snow, and his eyes are wrinkled proving that he is smiling under all those layers of fabric.

“You wanna give up already? Aren’t we on a ski trip, not a drinking holiday?”

Louis shrugs, and he can’t help but laugh.

“We suck at this, might as well just admit to it and do something we’re good at, don’t you think? I’m _really_ good at drinking.”

Nick looks down at his snow covered trousers, and nods finally.

“Okay, but you’re buying, right? And I feel like we need to start this with hot chocolate.”

Louis grimaces. He would much rather go straight to the beer.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes, darling,” Nick laughs as he grabs Louis’ arm as they have both managed to get their skis off. “You have to. For me. This is what a relationship is about, compromise. I want lots of whipped cream.”

Louis wants to say something about when the last time was he had whipped cream, but he doesn’t do that.

“Fine,” he grunts instead, hoping it will show on his face just how absolutely awful he thinks this is. “But before we go uhm we should... you know.”

Nick arches an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Uh, kiss,” Louis whispers. “I mean, they want us to show that we are a couple and I mean hand holding is all that but a kiss would be, I know it’s awkward but I jus…”

Nick leans forward and kisses him. It’s quick, and yet a bit forward considering he needs to yank down Louis’ scarf and his own before their lips meet. Louis wants to let out a surprised sound, but it’s smothered by Nick’s mouth and he doesn’t hold back.

Louis’ eyes close and he wonders for a moment if they will get a good picture, and then Nick’s lips are being pulled away as the older man gives him a playful smirk.

“Was that good enough?” he whispers, and Louis can’t do anything but nod.

“Uh… yeah… I…”

“Let’s get that hot chocolate!” Nick says as he turns around to walk over to the nearest shop, and Louis can’t do anything but follow.

 

\--

 

It’s late when they get in front of the fire in their ski cabin, and for a moment when Nick sleepily leans in to Louis as they watch some old movie Louis can’t be bothered to zap away from, he almost forgets that this is just a stunt.

 

\--

 

Dating Nick Grimshaw, even if it’s just a stunt, comes with many things that Louis likes, like laughing and taking Pig for walks when it’s nice weather or not so nice weather.

Now and then they get orders to go places though, and that’s why Louis finds himself pulling Nick to one of the fanciest milkshake places in town.

“Do you even _like_ milkshake?” Nick asks, his arms wrapping around Louis’ waist. Louis hopes the paps will get pictures of this, they must look adorable.

Louis chuckles and shakes his head.

“Not really.”

“So why are we here?” Nick looks like he is trying hard not to break out in laughter, which Louis understands. “Could have picked a much better place for a date, you know.”

“They wanted us here,” Louis mutters, hoping no one will hear them. It doesn’t look like anyone is listening to them though, which is good. “I think they think this is a good place.”

“Milkshake,” Nick hums. “The drink of true love.”

“Exactly,” Louis nods, checking the menu over the counter. “Anyway, we do this, and then we can go on the yacht trip and that’s way, _way_ better.”

“You think?” Nick asks, and they are getting closer to order now. Louis can’t decide if he wants chocolate or strawberry. Maybe he’ll do both, he is in a good mood. “You know there will be a lot of… people there.”

Louis knows he means Harry. He shrugs.

“Yeah well, but you know, yacht,” Louis hums. “I think it will be great. Maybe we’ll make him jealous. Can you take strawberry and I’ll take chocolate and I can taste yours and take that if it’s better than the chocolate?”

Nick laughs, letting go of Louis as they get ready to order.

“Such a romantic boy I got. Fine, let’s go with that.”

Louis’ smile is big. He is really winning today.

“You are gonna look like the best boyfriend in the world,” he hums as he pays for their milkshake. “You know? Gonna make…”

“Him jealous,” Nick echoes. A smile is plastered to his lips. “I know, let’s go.”

 

\--

 

Harry surprises Louis with coming over when Louis should be packing for the trip. It’s been a while since he did this, and Louis knows he wants something.

They drink tea, Harry a water though, and then finally it comes.

“You and Nick, huh?” Harry asks, and Louis nods, trying to look very busy as he is scrolling through his twitter feed. “You hid it well, I had no idea.”

“Yeah well you know,” Louis shrugs. “Got a lot of practice hiding with you. Now I don’t have to do that anymore, you know?”

Harry arches an eyebrow.

“Hiding with me?”

A flush spreads on Louis’ cheeks.

“No,” he says quickly. “I mean hiding in general, idiot. I’m out now.”

“With Nick,” Harry says slowly. Louis nods.

“With Nick.”

“Are you really though?” Harry keeps going. “Because Lou, I know Nick, and Nick isn’t really… I mean you’re not really his… type.”

Louis looks up from his phone, glaring at Harry.

“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Harry raises his arms in surrender.

“Hey, no offense, I was just saying that…”

“What, that I’m not my boyfriend’s type?!” Louis spits out. “Just because I wasn’t _your_ type doesn’t mean I can’t be liked by someone else.”

“Louis…” Harry tries, but Louis is pissed off and he has no idea why.

“Nick really does like me,” Louis keeps going. “He thinks I’m fun, and we get along great and we’re in love, and…”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, okay, I get it!” Harry raises his voice. “God, don’t bite my head off will you?”

“Ass,” Louis mutters. “Not Nick’s type. Fuck you.”

“Louis, why are you so angry?” Harry asks, and Louis keeps glaring at him.

“Because you’re questioning my relationship,” he says. “It’s rude. Extremely rude.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry’s voice is softer now. “You just… I was surprised, okay, I wasn’t aware that you were dating.”

“Just because you like having your new conquests plastered all over _The Sun_ doesn’t mean we all are like that,” Louis retorts, and he knows the second that it’s out that he is being too harsh.

Harry stares at him. Before standing up.

“I should go.”

“Harry…” Louis says, but he also doesn’t really feel like apologizing.

“I just came over because I care about you, you know?” Harry says, and looks back at Louis. He looks sad. “I still care about you.”

“That’s why you’re offending my boyfriend?” Louis can’t help but ask. Harry sighs.

“I really was just surprised, Louis. That was all. I just wanted to make sure you’re happy, that you’re not doing things you don’t want to do.”

“I am doing things I want,” Louis whispers, and it’s very true. “I… Nick is great.”

“I know,” Harry chuckles. “He was my friend first.”

They look at each other. Harry sighs again.

“Anyway, I really should go. You know. Yacht trip.”

Louis nods.

“I know, we… I’ll see you there, right?”

Harry gives him a smile.

“You and the boyfriend,” Harry says, and Louis nods.

“Mhm,” he murmurs. “Me and Nick.”

Harry pulls him in for a hug. It’s nice. Louis closes his eyes as Harry takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I offended you,” Harry whispers. “I didn’t mean to. I just got… you know.”

Louis’ heart beat faster.

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

Harry lets out a little laugh and they pull away from each other.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, huh?” he says with a smile. “We’re…”

“Louis, I’m here to rescue you!”

Nick’s voice is loud over everything else going on and Louis looks up almost startled, as does Harry. Nick looks surprised too when he walks in.

“Harry, wow, I didn’t know you were here. Did I interrupt something?”

Harry shakes his head.

“No, no I was just leaving, I’ll… leave you guys to it,” he says quickly. Nick looks even more confused, and Louis takes the opportunity to just walk over and lean into Nick’s arms. His arms feel warm.

“See you tomorrow Harry,” he whispers, and Harry is gone as quick as he came over.

“I’m sorry,” Nick mumbles. “I did interrupt something didn’t I?”

Louis shakes his head.

“No, not… no. He was just saying how I’m not your type and that he didn’t think we were together.”

It’s a bit mean of him to only mention that of their conversation, but Louis would lie if it wasn’t what had upset him. Nick grins.

“You’re not really my type though, are you?”

“Shut up!” Louis complains, tempted to throw his half packed bag at him.

“Sorry!” Nick laughs, pulling away. “Do you need help packing?”

Louis nods. He does.

“I think he might have been a bit jealous,” he says as they start deciding which shorts Louis should bring, because clearly he can’t just take any.

Nick pauses a little before glancing over at Louis.

“You think, really?”

“Yeah well,” Louis shrugs. “Maybe. Guess we’ll see. Would be a bit fun if he was, wouldn’t it?”

“Hilarious,” Nick says quietly. “So… turtle shorts?”

 

\--

 

Louis loves this yacht. And this sun.

And he loves the endless amount of drinks and the fact that Nick isn’t wearing a shirt. That’s a big bonus he doesn’t want to talk about with anyone. It wouldn’t be smart to mention how his fake boyfriend is actually really, really attractive.

Especially when they are both on sun chairs, enjoying their lives.

“Is he looking?” Louis whispers in Nick’s ear, and Nick rolls his eyes. He leans over, giving him a right angle to see Harry properly without Harry knowing that he is watching, and then he falls back into position of being completely sprawled out on the sun chair.

“Yeah, he is looking, so what?”

Louis hums and crawls over on top of Nick, it’s a bit of a risk not knowing if they will break the sun chair or tumble over into the water, but he knows it must look extremely adorable for everyone watching. It’s the only reason he wants to do it. Really.

Not because Nick’s skin seems warm.

Nick doesn’t seem to think it’s that adorable though, mostly because Louis manage to get his knee in his abdomen and causing Nick to let out a huff and a grunt.

“Sorry!” Louis hisses, wrapping his arms around Nick and covers his body with his, mostly so that no one will be able to see that Nick is looking anything but pleased with having him on top of him. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Gonna be the fucking death of me aren’t ya,” Nick mutters, but his fingers move over Louis’ spine, up and down in a comforting way that Louis is sure must look very cute. He hopes it does.

“Permission to kiss for the camera,” Louis mumbles as their eyes meet, and Nick rolls his eyes but it’s fondly, and even more fond when his hand cups the back of Louis’ neck to bring him in.

Nick’s kissing skills are something Louis shouldn’t be surprised with considering how much that man uses his mouth for a living, but he doesn’t _kiss_ for a living, but Louis thinks that he could. It’s a weird idea though, Nick kissing for business, so Louis stops his own mind and instead just melts into the kiss. They haven’t kissed many times, apart from for obvious quick camera shots, but Louis is starting to feel that he is close to getting used to it.

They go at it for a bit too long and Louis feels that maybe this is a bit too nice for just the cameras. He wonders if it’s just him, or if Nick feels it too.

“That enough for you?” Nick murmurs as they break the kiss and Louis clears his throat, feeling out of breath as he rolls over to his own chair again.

“Uhm, yeah. Yeah,” he glances over at Harry but Harry seems to be talking to someone else. Maybe he didn’t even see them.

Louis realises he doesn’t care if he did, and that makes him reach for the nearest bottle of alcohol he can find.

This whole thing is starting to mess with his head.

 

\--

 

Louis is tipsy when he gets into the cabin on the yacht that he shares with Nick. He has been up watching the stars and drinking and thinking about how he really isn’t attracted to Nick Grimshaw for real, when he notice him sprawled out in the bed wearing nothing but boxers, like he usually has during this trip, and Louis feels… things.

This is just going too far and he _needs_ to get it out of his system. Only one thing to do.

“Are you awake?” Louis whispers, swallowing a giggle as he crawls on all four up in Nick’s bed. No matter what they want to make you believe there is not much room in one of these, and Louis struggles as he tries to not step on some of Nick’s more sensitive parts. He _is_ a bit drunk though, tiny bit. Makes it a bit difficult. Even more so.

“Mhm,” Nick says sleepily, opening one eye to look at Louis. “Am now.”

“Can’t sleep,” Louis lies, falling down on top of Nick and cuddles up to him. It’s very simple, all of it. “Can I rub off on you?”

Nick sounds like he is making a choking sound and then he laughs.

“Seriously?”

Louis pouts.

“Nick come on,” he complains, because _honestly_. “I’m lonely.”

“You sure know how to work your romance,” Nick mutters, but Louis only partly hears it.

“Niiiick…” he whines, pressing his lips to Nick’s neck. Nick grunts and grabs hold of his chin, looking at him.

“How drunk are you?” he asks, and Louis’ heart beats a bit faster over the fact that Nick actually cares about this.

“Only a little,” he whispers, which is very true. “Like… 20 % drunk, 80 % very horny.”

Nick’s lips part, and he keeps watching Louis as if he is really trying to see if he can check the amount of alcohol in his system.

“I don’t want to do this if you’re drunk,” he says quietly. Louis hears every word now. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

It’s so caring Louis could cry, partly because he is very moved by how Nick cares more than anyone has ever, but also that his balls feels blue and _hurts_ and it’s just been too many days watching Nick without a shirt.

“Nick,” he says, taking Nick’s hand and holding it up in front of himself. “Five fingers. I see them. 5,4,3,2,1. See, I can count backwards too. Do you want me to walk backwards as well? Blow a whistle? I’m not drunk, I’m not, I just…”

“Oh god shut up!” Nick protests and then finally he kisses Louis, and it’s enough to get Louis to feel like his body is set on fire and his dick come to life even more in his boxers.

“Finally,” he mutters. Nick says something too, but Louis doesn’t listen to it because now they are really kissing, and Nick manages to roll them over. Louis whimpers as Nick pins him down to the bed, kissing him again and again as he starts grinding his hips down against his.

“God how big are you?” Louis whimpers, feeling something he had _not_ been expecting, even if he has seen a lot of Nick’s hands. Nick grins against his lips, starting to kiss down his neck.

“Big enough. Wanna see?”

Louis moans because honestly he wants to, but he is also pretty content with just being like this right now and he feels that maybe even if he is not totally drunk, he really wants to be completely sober the first time he sees Nick’s cock.

“No,” he gasps, pushing his hips up against Nick’s. “Make me come like this. Please. Want to see if you can make me come like this.”

It’s been a while since Louis managed to come in his pants. Quite the long time. He feels close already though, all of Nick surrounding him is making him feel too much. He isn’t really sure what he is feeling, just that he is feeling _things_ and it’s a very nice kind of thing he could get used to.

“Okay babe,” Nick murmurs, and as he starts circling his hips Louis sees stars. He is so hard. He is leaking. He doesn’t know how to handle this. His nails scratch at Nick’s back, slightly aware they will leave marks visible in the morning but he also doesn’t really care.

He really wants to come. He really wants _Nick_ to make him come. The realisation hits him like a punch in the gut but he ignores it.

“Fuck,” he whispers, pushing back up as Nick gets a hand behind his neck, kissing him hard while they still rub against each other. Nick’s tongue going inside his mouth is something Louis can’t handle like this, not now.

“Come for me, princess,” Nick whispers, and Louis cries out, not sure if he wants to be offended by that nickname. Clearly his body isn’t though, because he feels a jolt going down his spine, pressure building and he comes with Nick’s name rolling off his tongue.

He is vaguely aware that Nick rolls off him, giving himself a few quick tugs before he comes too, but mostly Louis feels as if he is more relaxed than _ever_ when he sinks down into the mattress. It can’t get better than this.

It does though, because Nick carefully moves up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and pulling him into an embrace as they lay there. Louis closes his eyes.

“Nick?” Louis mumbles, and Nick says something that could be a yes, or just a little tired grunt.

 _I think I like you_ , Louis thinks.

He doesn’t say anything else.

 

 

 

\--

 

The yacht really did its thing Louis supposes, because everyone is talking about him and Nick. Not even so much focus on the fact that he is just out of the closet – more focus on the fact that he is dating Nick. People seem to be coming up with stories everywhere Louis goes, and it makes him wonder how they will ever be able to get out of this.

He wonders if he _wants_ to.

Nick pulls away a little after the yacht though, and considering all the media, their managements aren’t setting them up as much anymore and Louis wonders if he has done something wrong.

It’s late one night when he just can’t take it anymore and he decides to call Nick.

Nick sounds tired when he answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” Louis says, trying to not sound nervous. “I’m uh… did I interrupt something?”

Nick yawns.

“No, I was just almost falling asleep, early mornings you know.”

Louis looks at the time and groans.

“Shit, I… had forgotten, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Nick says and Louis hopes it’s true.

“So anyway I was thinking… if you wanted to do something this weekend,” he says quickly. “I mean… maybe something like… I don’t know, we could make some people jealous.”

“Just what I wanted to do this weekend,” Nick says, and Louis can hear the irony. “Make people jealous.”

“It could be fun right?” Louis tries again. “I mean unless you don’t want to spend time with me after… the yacht…”

It’s quiet for a moment. Louis regrets mentioning it.

“I am pretty sure we shouldn’t be talking about that,” Nick says quietly. Louis feels his heart sink.

“Uhm yeah, I mean… no. Sorry. I mean…”

“Or maybe we should talk about it,” Nick says, and he sounds tired in more ways than once now. “Okay, we can meet up this weekend okay? My place. And we’ll talk.”

“Talking sounds bad now,” Louis says and Nick lets out a soft chuckle.

“Sometimes we have to,” Nick mumbles, and now he sounds really out of it. “Good night Louis. I’ll see you this weekend.”

He hangs up before Louis can say anything.

 

 

\--

 

Louis has never been this nervous before. When he go over to Nick’s house, he isn’t really sure what to expect. Nick opens the door with a smile though, and Louis realises he very often has that effect on Louis. He calms him.

“Hi,” Louis says. “You uhm… we are going to talk.”

“Yeah, come in,” Nick steps to the side, and Louis walks in.

“No Pig today?”

“She’s with Pixie today,” Nick hums and then sits down on the sofa. “Sit down.”

“I feel like you are gonna ground me or something,” Louis tries to joke, but he sits down.

“I think we need to talk about what happened on the boat.” Nick says quietly. “Yacht. That night.”

Louis’ heart is beating even faster.

“Why… why do we have to talk about that?”

“Because we had sex,” Nick says looking away. “Pretty sure that was not in the contract. And it still happened.”

“We rubbed off on each other,” Louis whispers. “It was… just fun, right?”

Nick looks at him.

“Was it?”

“Of course,” Louis says quickly. “Helping each other out right? Like we have been doing and... you know, it was just… a good thing. Making people…”

“That’s the other thing,” Nick sighs, shaking his head. “This thing with other people. That’s why I can’t do this. Because I think we’re in this for different reasons… or something.”

Louis feels confused.

“What do you mean?” he asks quietly. “Why was it a wrong thing to get off together? And what do you mean… for different reasons? We are under the same contract and…”

“Yeah,” Nick says quietly. Louis didn’t even know Nick Grimshaw could be this quiet. “It’s all a contract, isn’t it? Which we should stick to.”

“I don’t understand,” Louis says, and it’s very true. “Why was it wrong to do that? Was it bad?”

Nick shakes his head.

“No, it wasn’t bad.”

“So why… why would you say that?” Louis whispers, looking up at Nick as he tries to understand what he is trying to say.

“Because I think you’re still in love with Harry,” Nick shrugs, as if this doesn’t bother him in the slightest. “And I’m not ready to be the one to try to get you to move on from him, or be whatever it is you want me to be. I can’t be Harry for you. I’m Nick.”

Louis glares at him.

“I know you’re Nick. Why the fuck do you think I’m stupid?”

Nick glares back. He looks pissed.

“This is not about saying you’re stupid, just that I feel like it’s pretty obvious that you’re still into Harry. So excuse me if I don’t feel like jumping on you, I am not into the whole replacement thing. Not with you anyway. Not with you.”

Louis opens his mouth, but what Nick says shocks him. He closes his mouth, they both stare, and Louis lets out a little whimper.

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah,” Nick mutters. “So can we just move on? Okay? I just… try to get Harry back, Louis. And I’ll just...”

“Now you’re an idiot,” Louis stares him down, and Nick almost backs off a little. “I don’t want him back. I’ve been doing all this to be… closer to you.”

If Nick had expected anything from Louis, it probably wasn’t this. He stares at him in disbelief.

“What do you mean?”

Louis sighs. A hint of blush spreads on his cheeks, and he is not sure he really wants to talk about this but he is going to have to.

“I… started liking you, okay?” he shakes his head, shoving his hands down his pockets and feels that it makes him look smaller than ever but he doesn’t care about it. “I’m not sure when. It was a stupid thing to do, but I really started liking you. For real. And I figured that if I… I mean, I didn’t want to admit it but I thought that if I was closer to you as often as possible you might start liking me too and that’s why I kept going with the… with the jealous thing.” Louis looks up at Nick, glancing shyly at the other man who doesn’t seem to have anything to say about it. Louis sighs again. “I don’t care if Harry is jealous. I don’t want him back. I want you. I mean, for real. I want you. I thought I could get it out of my system, the whole… wanting you thing, but it didn’t work. It got worse.”

“Me?” Nick asks, and Louis bites his lip.

“Yeah, you. I know it’s stupid, I know this wasn’t… I know it’s a stunt and it’s… I know.”

Nick laughs.

“Why do you think I agreed to do this, Louis?”

Louis just stares.

“I don’t…”

“Because I like you too, right? You must have known,” Nick laughs as if he is just coming to terms with how stupid they both are. “You always seemed like so much fun. You were just… I mean you were dating Harry! So I couldn’t do anything. Seriously, you didn’t know? Thought I was pretty obvious at times. Especially now.”

“Wha… no!” Louis feels as if the world is spinning. “I didn’t fucking know that. Does it look like I know that? If I knew that I wouldn’t have gone through all this. Idiot!”

Nick laughs. Louis knows there really nothing else they can do but laugh, but he is still annoyed with the fact that Nick is _laughing._

“Shut up,” he mutters as Nick keeps laughing, but now Nick is pulling him in closer.

“You shut up,” Nick whispers with a grin and then he kisses Louis as if it’s the first time they ever kiss.

Louis closes his eyes, and he doesn’t know how he will ever not want to do this. Nick’s lips against his feel soft and needy, and if Louis thought more about it he could probably come up with some other cheesy adjective, but he won’t do that. He wraps his arms around Nick’s neck, and pulls him in closer as he nibble on his lower lip.

“Are you gonna make me?” Louis murmurs, a smirk spreading on his lips as Nick grunts.

“Thought I already did.”

“I’m still talking aren’t I?”

“True,” Nick nods, and he pushes forward, kissing Louis even deeper as he pushes him down against the sofa, much to Louis’ happiness.

“Not even gonna take me to bed, I see,” Louis mutters as Nick’s hands move between their bodies and Nick lets out a frustrated groan.

“You are really going to drive me crazy,” Nick says, but then he gets up and Louis is absolutely surprised when Nick manages to simply lift him up from the sofa, carrying him to the bedroom.

He doesn’t complain though, and Nick’s bed is nice, it’s unmade and comfortable and Louis melts into the pillows and sheets.

“We’re really doing this,” Nick mutters as he crawls on top of Louis, and Louis can’t help but giggle as he nods.

“Yes. Yes we are.”

“You sure you want this?” Nick mumbles and Louis pulls him in, kissing him hard before he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“Are you going to call me princess again?”

Nick arches an eyebrow and Louis blush faintly before pushing Nick’s unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders.

“Because you know, that would be better,” he murmurs, which makes Nick kiss him hard again.

Louis wonders how they make the taking clothes off thing look so simple in the movies because it’s _really_ not. Or maybe it’s his fault for only sleeping with guys who wears way too tight jeans because it’s a struggle.

“Can I cut these off?” he mutters frustrated as he tries to get Nick’s jeans off, which makes Nick laugh and help him before the jeans finally fall to the floor and Louis is the victor who can crawl on top of Nick and kiss him again. Nick grinds up against him and Louis feels as if he might actually go insane if he doesn’t finally get to see Nick naked. _Completely_ naked.

“You’re beautiful,” he mumbles instead, earning him a little purr from Nick.

“So are you princess,” he whispers in his ear and Louis’ cock gets ten times harder and Louis slips his hand down Nick’s pants without wanting to wait anymore.

Nick is big. Very big. Louis wrap his hand around him and start stroking him slowly, hearing Nick’s breath get caught in his throat.

“Y… yeah, like that,” Nick murmurs, and well praise is another thing Louis really likes.

“Like this?” he whispers, pushing Nick’s pants down now to get him easier access as he keeps stroking him. He looks down. Nick’s dick is really pretty. It’s very okay to be in this situation. “Am I doing good?”

“You’re doing so good,” Nick grunts, his eyes are closed and head slightly tilted back. It’s a nice view from on top of him. “So fucking good. Want you so bad, Lou. Wanted you for so long.”

Louis wants to let out a relieved little sigh as he hears that, but he doesn’t even have time to because he wants Nick too, and he wants Nick inside him right now.

“Can we please?” he asks, which thankfully Nick understands because he pushes Louis off him, going to the bedside drawer.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” Nick murmurs and he lubes his fingers up slowly so that Louis can watch ever movement of it, which doesn’t really help his _hard-as-a-rock_ problem. He is about to say something about it, but instead he just spreads his legs to show Nick that it’s very okay if Nick wants to just get started with this, and Nick hums as he gets between his legs.

“Let me know if you don’t…”

“Fuck,” Louis mutters, tempted to kick him. “Get started.”

Nick chuckles as if this situation is hilarious to him, which Louis wants to point out when Nick finally just moves forward and starts circling his entrance with his index finger.

Just the light touch makes Louis shake, and it gets even worse when Nick starts working a finger inside him. Louis gasps, trying to not clench too much around him and not look like it’s the first time he has ever been touched because really, that would be awkward.

“Please,” he whispers instead, urging Nick to go on, but Nick takes it slow. He works that finger inside Louis slowly, taking his time to make sure that it slips easily in and out of him before he works a second finger inside him. Louis is a sobbing mess as the third finger comes.

“You look so good. Feel so good,” Nick murmurs in his ear, making the whole thing even worse. In a good way. “Better than I ever could have dreamed of.”

The idea of Nick dreaming about him almost pushes Louis over the edge, but he is _not_ going to come from his fingers, and _not_ from his words. He forces himself to hold back.

“Nick… Nick please,” Louis whispers and scratch at his upper arm again. “Please can you just… god, _please_.”

Nick seems to understand everything he is saying and that’s really helpful right now, when he pulls his long fingers back and reaches for the condom next to Louis’ head. He kisses Louis slowly before actually moving on, and Louis closes his eyes, letting out a whimper again.

“Nick, Nick…”

Desperation is not pretty but he really doesn’t care.

“Shhh…” Nick hushes him, kissing him again as he rolls the condom on. “I got you princess.”

Nick slides inside him slowly.

Louis looks up and meets his eyes, gasping as Nick looks down at him fondly as they move together. It’s slow, sweet. Almost too much of it. _Almost_.

“You’re beautiful,” Nick whispers. Louis grunts.

“Shut up and fuck me, Grimshaw.”

Nick laughs and clearly takes it to heart as he starts pounding into Louis with such force that Louis worries maybe they will break the bed, or him, but he really doesn’t care. He bites down on Nick’s neck, leaving a trail of love bites that he hopes is visible for everyone in the morning, mostly for Nick, so that he can remember that this is what they are doing now.

Nick grunts as he does, gripping Louis’ wrists and pinning them over his head as he fucks into him harder, and with a right angle he slams into Louis prostate, and now Louis is truly sobbing from pleasure.

“Fucking hell,” he cries out, and he doesn’t want to be the first to come but it’s impossible, and with one more well aimed thrust Louis comes, spilling all over his chest and getting some of it on Nick’s as well. His body clenches, Nick groaning as it does and Louis knows he is close too.

“Please, come on my face,” Louis whispers, and apparently nothing he says can surprise Nick now because he just slides out quickly, discarding the condom before straddling Louis’ stomach and starts jerking himself off over Louis’ face.

“So pretty, princess,” he mumbles before he splashes all over Louis’ face. Louis desperately opens his mouth, trying to get as much of his come as possible, Nick tasting sweet and sour on his tongue in a way he hadn’t expected.

“God,” Louis breathes out and maybe Nick agrees, because he collapses on top of Louis before they cuddle up together just like they did on the yacht.

Louis _loved_ that yacht.

“There’s probably some things we should discuss,” Nick murmurs in his ear and Louis hushes him.

“Shh no, we have done all the talking. Haven’t we? No talking. Not now.”

“But,” Nick laughs, nudging his side. “We should probably… you know… are we something real now? Is that what you want? Something real with me?”

Louis rolls over, he meets Nick’s eyes and they are wide and curious and _god_ , Louis is in love with him. He nods slowly.

“Mhm,” he nods, reaching his finger out to bush over Nick’s cheek. “I want something real with you.”

“I want something real with you too,” Nick whispers, and Louis shouldn’t be this happy to hear that. He is though.

“Good,” Louis hums, pulling Nick in closer. “Have we finished talking now?”

Nick laughs and throws a pillow at him.

“Go fucking sleep, Lou.”

Louis does.

 

\--

 

The first event they go to as a real couple is a film release, and Louis feels as if nothing can top this, nothing. He leans back in the seat of the car, glancing over at Nick with a smile.

“We’re really doing this,” he says finally. “We’re doing this for us.”

“For us,” Nick says with a smile, and his fingers intertwine with Louis’ as simple as they always have. Louis gives his hand a squeeze.

“I am happy about that,” Louis mumbles, looking out the window as the limo starts pulling in to the curb, getting ready for them to step out.

“So…” Louis continues, running his free fingers though his fringe as the car parks, and people rush forward to help them open the door. He can see the red carpet, the flash of cameras His heart is beating faster. “Who are we making jealous tonight, huh?”

He follows it with a wink as he watches Nick, Nick grins and pulls him closer as they both step out. So many people are shouting their names and Louis is blinded by flashes, but he can still hear every word coming from Nick’s mouth when the man leans into him.

“Everyone, Louis Tomlinson,” he mumbles, and Louis can feel his smile when his lips meet his ear. “ _Everyone_.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> ending and title is inspired by the amazing movie you drive me crazy. watch it. also come to me on tumblr and twitter, @babygotstyles, let's be friends.


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